There are certain celebrities we love to hate.

Up until about a year ago, I really couldn’t stand Taylor Swift. Why? No idea. It was almost like it was just easier to not like her, because she was popular and everyone loved her songs.

I used to think, oh God, here she comes, that little blonde teeny-bopper with her stupid little guitar, rising to stardom, singing about heartbreak. I thought, I’m too old for this teeny bopper stuff, I need a real singer to get into that I can relate to.

And when she got super big with the songs you just couldn’t get out of your head no matter what type of vodka you drank, I despised her even more! Because who was she to be so talented and successful? Who was she to actually get me, someone four years her senior?

But I’m noticing a nice transition as I gravitate more towards love than anything else. One day I found myself humming one of her songs in the shower, Back to December. I’m positive it’s about heartbreak (well of course) but I realized there in that soothing rush of hot water that something in that song resonated with me. I really loved the lyric ‘I go back to December all the time’ because December isn’t a place, it’s a time. It meant she was remembering something that happened to her in December, some event that she kept going back to in her mind.

And I liked that line. It reminded me of certain months that I always go back to too, and certain people I used to know who I don’t anymore.

I started realizing she was good at what she does. A year ago, I put her in a limiting category in my head. I thought of her as beneath me somehow, because I was so annoyed by her. And actually, it prevented me from enjoying the song, and a lot of her songs.

So I thought, what the heck Monique? Here you are preaching about love and kindness, and you’re trash talking this gal you don’t even know based upon what the media says about her?

And somehow, I realized it wasn’t because she was inherently ‘annoying’ that I despised her, it was because I was jealous of her. Phew, what a realization! Haha. She was beautiful, successful, and talented, and I hated her for it. I hated her songs because they were actually good. I hated that they struck a chord in me. I hated someone for being talented. Like mean girls would. Like the kind of person I’m absolutely not.

And so I let go of my hate for her. I just let go of it. I realized holding onto this hate for her was purely a reflection of the hate I had inside of me, and it had absolutely nothing to do with her. She had never done anything to me, to anyone at all, except for be a bit emotional and annoying at times, and who isn’t guilty of that?

It reminded me that I am a lot more like Taylor Swift than I think. A lot of my short stories and poems revolve around 2-3 main people. And if I was blessed with a voice that could sing about them, I would. I’m not going to hate someone for using music to get out what’s hurting them inside, because I do it all the time. Even Elton John does it! I mean he wrote songs like Someone Save My Life Tonight and I Guess That’s Why They Call it The Blues. I mean listen to these lyrics.

I’m sleeping with myself tonight

Saved in time, thank God my music’s still alive

That right there is a man who needs his music more than anything. Thank God the art is still alive and kicking, even though someone else is not.

It’s so much easier to let go and just enjoy. In the long run it causes you more pain to hate than it does for the people you’re hating, which sounds cliche as I write it, but there’s no other way to say it. And there’s no reason in the world to hang on to hate for people you have never met.

Ignore what the media publishes. What the media publishes is intended to sensationalize and destroy people who are just out trying to live their lives.

All of that being said, I feel lifted because of this in some small way, and I have applied this mindset to other celebrities I used to be annoyed by too, like Ariana Grande. Why hate anything when it’s easier to enjoy it and celebrate it for what it is? Especially when they’re talented. (Admit it, they are).

Are you guilty of this kind of celebrity hate too?

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Monique Muro

Monique is an exceedingly happy human from LA. She runs the blog A Novel Quest, and writes. A lot.

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