It’s Friday. Why are you reading this. Kindly make your way to the nearest pub, grill, and/or brothel and Instagram your drinks for the sake of man kind.

Monique has to stay in and study tonight, but later she is going to polish off a bottle of wine and watch most if not all of the rest of Season 2 of Parks and Recreation. In case you haven’t been following her rants for the past 2 months, she is studying for the GMAT, the standardized test she must complete in order to apply for business school. The test is May 29th. This is her life until then so thanks for reading about it.

Below is VLOG #3! The none-too-anticipated vlog of her experience wine tasting a couple of weekends ago, and a silly, silly hungover tirade about not wanting to do laundry OR study. If you happened to miss her second vlog, in which she was drawn like a French girl and dressed like a madman, you can watch it here.

What was ‘My So-Called Life’ about, anyway? Why was she calling it ‘so-called’? Whatever. Monique is having a moment and often that means she needs to get some stuff out. Here’s the stuff. No bubble wrap, no postage, no turkey, just stuff.

There are so many people smarter than Monique (pictured above) it’s distracting. And beautiful. Today she laughed for 10 straight minutes at gif’s of babies making sour faces and read a really great blog post by this guy from twitter who she accidentally bumped into at a bar and she had a real, true realization. Things are rarely real and almost never true so this made her pause and take a moment to type a few things down and that is this.

Comedy helps her cope with everything.

She felt the ache of it gnawing at her knee caps in the middle of the night and she realized once and for all ON THIS VERY NIGHT that she has relied on all things comedic, witty, and smart to get her through every single god damn every little thing. That’s not a typo, she meant it to sound like that. She likes sounding weird. Anyweird, the point of this blog post is that there are a lot of fucking frames and pillows that say how healing laughter is, but Monique doesn’t care about all of that. She only knows that any time she is feeling ancient, frizzy, or miscalculated she turns to comedy and feels better. Any time boys make her want to burn something she makes toast and is actually okay with it tasting like crap because hey, it’s better than the hiccups.

What she’s trying to say here is thank you, comedy. Two significantly majorly annoying and emotionally draining things have happened to her in the past year, and comedy threw out its rope when she was drowning and SHE CAUGHT THAT SHIT so comedy, you deserve a pat on the back or a free drink or three. She can’t begin to tell you how many times she’s turned emotionally distorting situations into humor. She was once in a yoga session in a horribly deformed pose sweating through her eyeballs and the yoga instructor said, “Think of a really horrible situation that you’ve experienced recently. It’s humorous, isn’t it?”

She was all, ‘No that shit sucked’ but then started laughing and even fell out of her position because of it, while continuing to laugh. Not to say that this yoga deformation/instructor prodding was what changed her life but there was something humorous about finding the humor in everything. That last line even made her think “There’s something hubris about finding the humor in everything” which is like pride right? So like, kind of conceited there for a second. But the point is, every any time she’s feeling down (also, purposefully not grammatical) she looks to comedy and it shakes her out of her rattle and roll. If that makes sense. Even if it doesn’t, you understood it and maybe it made you smile.

Okay, post too long and attention span is the rarest thing in the universe currently so she’s done but just wants to reiterate the graci to comedy because it’s gotten her though some shit and she has seen some things…

tuhinchowdhury.deviantart.com

Monique had an entire blog post outlined in her head. An entire one. In fact, she had an entire night planned out. She was going to come home, clean her room, make a nice dinner for herself, and study. After studying, she was going to blog about her weekend, and finally finish editing her latest video blog. This was her night, and a productive one at that.

This post is the result of a night of productivity that only partially happened because she let a single boy beat her down. If you are in the market for letting a boy beat you down, outlined below are a few steps in which to let this happen.

Step One: Agree to see him whenever he wants to see you. Today the boy said to her, “Come over.” So Monique, having dated this boy for quite some time, agreed, despite whatever plans she’d previously had.

Step Two: Sacrifice the things you must do, because he wants to see you. She liked this boy, and she would sacrifice some blog/study time to watch a little TV and fall asleep with him. Both her and the boy were very tired, and neither of them had anything in mind for the evening other than settling down, tubing, and sleeping. And by tubing she simply means, watching the tube.

Step Three: Always look forward to seeing said boy. Always. Monique gets home from work, cleans, makes herself a nice, healthy dinner, does two loads of laundry, and takes a shower. Most of the things she wanted to get done, got done. Stepping out of the shower, it is 7:45pm. Her plan was to study for an hour and a half or so, and make her way over to see the boy. Here, Monique would like to stress that she is looking forward to it.

Step Four: Prepare to meet said boy without contacting him first. Dress in your best “comfy but attractive” clothes. This includes wearing a bra. After changing, she contemplates completing tonight’s self-prep by doing her hair and maybe putting on a little make up. She decides against it. Good thing too.

Settling down at her desk, she text messages the boy to let him know she will put in at least an hour and a half of study time before leaving to visit him. The boy was aware that she had some cleaning and studying to do ahead of time, and he was also aware that there was no set time in which they would meet. In fact, Monique told the boy “I’ll text you later”, to which he agreed.

Twenty minutes after her text to him, the boy responds, and she is frittering around in the bathroom. She hears the text during this frittering. For some reason, she has a sinking feeling. Keep in mind that she has not read the text yet. She is still frittering. Once finished, she reads the text.

[Insert text from boy along the lines of “I’m too tired” here.]

Are you let down? Great! You’ve successfully let one boy beat you down. (It sure beat her down! Now she can’t really focus on anything but heart-wrenching disappointment!) Continue on this path for the rest of your life, and you’re sure to find heartbreak and affliction at every turn. Best of luck!