October 23, 2013



This is going to sound incredibly off, but I just finished writing about a blogger named Kim Dalferes who published a post on turning 50, and I have to say–I wish I was fucking 50. Here’s why. And I quote.


“One of the many facets of turning fifty, which I most appreciate, is that fifty brings perspective. At fifty I have arrived at the party. At fifty I have become comfortable in my own skin. Now don’t get me wrong – I always have room for improvement. But I find that as I enter this fifth decade I have now grown into my looks and my personality. I’m loud, I laugh at all the wrong parts of a movie, and I accept who I am. Fifty feels good; like a well-fitting red coat that looks perfect with the right pair of black boots.”


I’m sorry, but is there a better fitting description for fifty than that? I think what I most envy about the spirit of being 50 in this quote, and in this blog post, is the “I’ve finally grown into my own personality” mentality. I feel like when you’re fifty, you’re just over everything. You’ve loved, you’ve married, you’ve had kids or dealt with a lot them in one way or another, you’ve had a career (or some version of it), and you’ve just about seen it all. There’s a particular wisdom that seems to come with being fifty that I am for some reason envying tonight.


Well actually, I know the reason–perspective.  It just seems like it would be wonderful to have some kind of perspective on the way things are. To have a sort of ‘been there, done that’ mentality, and to be comfortable in your own skin. I’d say more than half of the time I’m comfortable in my own skin, but the rest of the time…hoooo-weee! Sometimes I walk around wondering who the heck I am. Am I really all that confident? Am I really all that smart? Should I be reserved or outgoing? Should I laugh loudly and be silly, or give off an air of maturity? (75% of the time I say ‘fuck it’ and just be me). I still get shy talking about myself to large groups of people. I still would rather hang out in my comfort zone than do anything incredibly daring (for the most part). I still feel some sense of awkward when I meet new people, and feel like a teenager at times, wondering what people think of me. But maybe that doesn’t ever go away. Maybe that’s just something that gets smaller with age, rather than disappears.


I was reading some of the comments from the blog post that Kim wrote about turning 50, and they made me tear up a little bit. So many women commented about how much they loved life, regardless of their ages. Not only did they comment, but they left wonderful little tidbits of wisdom and their mottoes for living life to the fullest. It made me feel like a 15-year-old, hearing about how old some of them were, but at the same time completely fulfilled and boldly looking forward the decades before me. Here are a few that you might enjoy.


“All decades bring challenges, obstacles, and joys.”

“Enjoy your time, wherever you are. Make it your own.”

“Enjoy your thirties – they are awesome! Can I give you just a little advice? Moisturize, and wear a really good bra!”

“Yes 50 is great and does the number really matter when you feel good and life is full love love, joy, fun and abundance?”


Am I right?


All decades bring challenges, obstacles, and joys, so if I had to nail down one description of my twenties thus far, it would be that they’ve been a tapestry of dark and light, an awakening to love, an appreciation for existence, and acceptance of mystery.

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Monique Muro

Monique is an exceedingly happy human from LA. She runs the blog A Novel Quest, and writes. A lot.

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  • Cathy Nerujen

    This made me think here, Monique. I barely think about being 40, let alone 50. Being 50 means how will I look to the ones I care about. What bits of me will still work and what bits won’t work as well, if at all.

    This made me feel I direct my conscience at only certain things about myself but not others. This is a good reality check for me.

    And you made it nice and painless…. Hehehe. You are a great blogger. Now if only aging will be as painless, please Lord. Heh.

    Love your blog always.


    • http://anovelquest.com Monique

      Hahahah I completely agree. If only aging was painless! Thanks for stopping by Cathy! I appreciate your visits always :)