With a frizzy head buried in business school applications, book reviews, math/technology classes for “fun”, blogging, personal brand creation, and a social life teetering on non-existent, it doesn’t surprise me that I haven’t taken a breather to notice that oh shit it’s practically December, and there needs to be money saved for Christmas shopping.

Well okay. I do have money saved up, but it sure isn’t for Christmas. Can somebody say Australia getaway, summer of 2013?

I digress. Christmas is approaching, and I should be saving money for others, and start getting together a list of who I need to buy for, right? WRONG says the id, the very moment I step inside a Forever 21, knowing that the INSTANT I see fringe, all bets are off.

Let’s take a step back. Not only have I not noticed we’re three days shy of December, but I haven’t bought myself anything spoil-worthy (besides Starbucks coffee) since my Lighten Up days with Peter Walsh, where he absolutely convinced me that my bi-weekly earnings were better left in my bank account, and I was worth way more than any kind of fringe outfit concoction or spoil-worthy thing.

And for awhile, it totally worked. I took on a sort of Buddhist persona, where I didn’t really want or need anything than the shit I already had in my closet, bathroom, car, room, bed, head, etc. I was completely content with spending money on coffee and actual needs like toilet paper and iTunes and cheap wine and Chipotle and happy hour and…well you get the idea.  I wasn’t buying any clothes, jewelry, make up, or manicures. Essentially, no grooming accouterments. No lavish things.

But this Saturday I’m going to a Great Gatsby themed shindig, and I had to do a little shopping. Nothing big, just maybe a cheap dress. Nothing more than $35. I was only going to wear it once! So there I was, with my “I’m so Buddha” mentality and my “I don’t need any of this stuff” mantras, and I walk into this.

Cute shit.

Fucking everywhere.

This led to the kind of unhealthy chain reaction you only read about on Web MD. Not only did I buy an outfit, I bought jewelry, more jewelry, a hair piece, a flower for that hair piece…I spent nearly $70 on this fucking outfit that I am telling myself I will wear more than once.

(Bare with me folks, it gets worse).

Because of this retail romp, all day today I fantasized about how I wanted to re-decorate my room, blog, and basically my entire self. I was looking up curtains at Bed, Bath, & Beyond, contemplating $80 Studio Press themes for my blog, researching the cost of ANOTHER big computer monitor to match the size of the one I have (all in the name of productivity of COURSE)…you name it! All of this shit I do NOT need right now. All of this shit BEFORE Christmas? Are you mad?

Now don’t get me wrong. I didn’t spend anything else. (Aside from $20 for a resume redesign on Fiverr and $20 more on two e-books by Darren Rowse but they were STEALS okay).

The point I’m trying to make here, is when you succumb to the damn shopping mall, even on one small occasion to get yourself a little something for a damn themed party (repeat of my Halloween costume spends), you succumb all the way. It follows you out of the store, and all the way home, like a ghost, when you’re writing a blog post about your defeat and also simultaneously wondering if your desk could use more candles….

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Monique Muro

Monique is an exceedingly happy human from LA. She runs the blog A Novel Quest, and writes. A lot.

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